Overwhelm or perfectionism can lead us to be so hard on ourselves that we can have difficulties making things happen.

It sometimes helps to remember that a goal that isn’t yet anchored in time is just an idea. It’s ok to let that idea swim around in your mind for a while - it might even be really useful to do this and we might even let it go all together. We can easily make the mistake of thinking that we’re procrastinating or failing because we haven’t yet achieved our goal.

If we decide that we do want to achieve a particular goal then it needs to be converted to a concrete plan at a particular time before it becomes real - try setting a time and place to focus on the plan, to write or draw about it, to make it real. Anchoring an idea helps us to be accountable to ourselves but also to be kinder to ourselves - there’s a difference between an “I should do this” idea and a concrete exploration or action of an idea we’d like to make happen.

Asking for your wants and needs to be met doesn’t mean you’re “too much.”

Counselling fro ADHD / Autism

Being neurodiverse doesn’t just mean getting a printout or a Tiktok list of traits that make you different. Sometimes these can help to understand how your brain may work slightly differently to how you or others have been presuming, but you are also uniquely you with your life experiences and values and beliefs. In counselling we can see you in detail as a whole person; celebrate the ways in which you way of thinking helps and find strategies to assist with when your way of thinking gets in the way of what you want to be. Good therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, it’s the ability to adapt, to be curious and most of all to be alongside you in what you’re going through or the discoveries you’re making about yourself.

The science helps us find some of the map, but the detail of that map is yours.

Intellectualising

Many of us intellectualise therapy. Many people find it really helpful to understand why we think the way we do, some of us get stuck in this understanding and don’t know where to go next. We know what we’ve been through and what it looks like for us now but don’t know what to do with it all. Counselling can help us move from what we think to a more embodied state of knowing - almost feeling it so that we don’t have to think about it anymore, it just is. When this happens, we feel more free and able to make choices for ourselves about our future rather than being held captive by what we know happened to us.

Grieving

When you’ve lost someone it’s easy to be frightened by the depths of our feelings; it sometimes feels like we’re not grieving as we should; maybe we have things to say about the person who has died which we don’t know how to say or we are worried about how we actually feel about them; sometimes it might feel as if there is no strength left to move forward. Counselling after a bereavement or loss can help us to experience our complex emotions and find support as we navigate what the world now looks like without the person who is no longer here. Counselling can support us and help us make sense of our grieving journey - which is ours alone.